3 posts tagged “surgery”
My first thought when I woke up from surgery was “I wanna go back under” followed immediately by “why does my arm hurt SO MUCH”. I was so dopey and drugged. In the recovery room I was faintly aware of a few things: 1) that I was recovering from a surgery, 2) my arm hurt worse than anything ever had hurt before – about the same as when I broke it 3) they took an xray with a cool xray machine, and 4) I was the most healthy and with it surgical patient in that room. I remember hearing snippets of conversations about recovering patients heading back to the ICU, seeing masses of machinery floating around with gurneys with passed out people in various states of bandages. So all considering, I should feel lucky. So I tried hard to not complain about anything.
I was asked a few times what my pain felt like, and I said about a 9 or a 10 – and that made the nurses scurry, giving me drugs and more drugs. And then it was a few more hours of blissful non-pain… wow the miracle of drugs ;)
When I had significantly improved, I moved to the regular recovery room – and the nurses told me I had to urinate and then I could go home. No problem, I thought, I’ve had so much to drink in the past hour, I should be going any minute! Well, minutes turned into hours. My friend AP came to take me home around 6, but since I hadn’t yet peed, they wouldn’t release me. “why don’t you go get some dinner and come back, surely I’ll be ready by 8”. Ha.
What was my condition at 8? Obnoxious. I had a bit of a panic/pain attack around the time that AP came back to check on me again. She got my drugs for me (thanks and YAY) and came back again. I was doped up with two doses of whatever they gave me in the original recovery room. (Reflecting on this episode, I’m sure it was caused by ‘coming down’ from anesthesia – evil evil drugs). Surely I’d be ready to go by then? Nope. I had taken to wandering around with my saline solution bag attached to my arm and my hind end hanging out of the back of the robe. Yes, I was one of those people. I believe I pontificated on the finer points of immodesty to everyone I could. I can’t believe these nurses and doctors put up with people like me (and worse: see last entry for the ‘worse’ category) after surgery.
After AP went home, I begged for a catheter, I just want to go home, please make me urinate and let this be over! I had so many drugs in my system that I was completely unable to relax the urinary tract muscles – it’s something you do voluntarily – but there was a big disconnect thanks to the drugs between my brain and its outlying nerve pathways.
It’s nearing 10pm and my roommates (and by proxy, my Mom) are beside themselves with worry, not quite sure what’s happened to me. The doctors I spoke with wanted to admit me for the night, worried about my lack of urine. By this time I’m bloated more than a bowling ball. I’d had about a gallon of liquid! I was really uncomfortable and really wanted to go home. I must have been convincing to yet another doctor that I was very aware of my pain situation but that I really wanted to go home, could I please have a catheter? (have you ever heard someone beg for one? Me either)
I’m aware that A called and I asked her to be ‘on call’ to pick me up. FINALLY I’m granted a catheter – it took about 5 minutes to completely evacuate! All the while, the nurses lecturing me until blue in the face that “If I cant urinate tomorrow morning, you must come straight to the emergency room right away”, I nodded my assent.
I was ushered into speedy wheelchair, assigned a chauffeur, and we headed downstairs, into a big mess of construction blocking my hallway out – I stumble into my roommates car (both roomies are there)…ahhhh home sweet home…
Welcome back - I've been absent with the holiday, but am back to tell yet another installment of my navigational skills within the health care sector.
Tuesday, the 23rd, 3 days since I broke my olecranon/ulna, and I'm at the hospital. I'm ready to check in, arm wrapped, swollen, and movement seriously limited. After standing in the waiting room, awaiting the 'customer service professional' to acknowledge me and end her "woah is me" speech with her co-worker (neither of whom acknowledged the other person waiting in line with me, or me). I thought, "and it all starts now" as I rolled my eyes and sighed audibly. After filling out brief paperwork and waiting on them to call me again, the niiiice lady took my wallet and keys and locked them up for me. Filing of paperwork was done, and I was ready for the next step. I arrived at the next room, and met with a blank look, and a statement "you arent supposed to be here, we dont have you in our files" from the next uuber professional admin lady. I made sure to tell them I had strict instructions from the lady on the phone that i indeed was slated to be in your office, asking you to get me into surgery today. Finally another doctor arrives on the scene and says "treat her like a fast track patient". I dont know what that means but apparently I had my name on some fast track list OR it's secret code for "she slipped through the cracks" lets sneak her in. I secretly think it's the latter. The same lady took another look at me and said "you go here to check in" and proceeded to draw me a map, complete with color lines to follow on the floor (yes there really are colored lines on the floor). Suddenly a knight in shining armor and a white coat showed up miraculously and led me into the elevator, up another few floors, and into another room, where I awaited to be admitted, again. I received the same treatment as I had in the past two offices. I felt like I was navigating a nightmare in a video game - once I gathered enough stinkeye stares, I was admitted to the next stage...
Admittedly, it gets kinda fuzzy from this point on. I think I finally was admitted, told to 'wear this" hospital gown, and was in a hospital gurney. Various doctors came in and out, checking, double checking and triple checking my paperwork, what arm was to be operated on, what drugs i had in my system, had I peed, did I need to pee, and finally, did I want to watch some tv (there are personal monitors) to pass the time? What? and Miss the most dreadful droning of the 'victimized eye surgery patient in the next cubicle'? No joke people, this woman was clearly elderly, and complaining in the way your great-grandma complains that you're never up on time, only she's at your house at FOUR IN THE MORNING. This woman somehow had checked in at 6am for her 2pm surgery. And she was complaining that the doctors forgot her, that the nurses were willingly avoiding her, adamantly shouting at whomever would listen. It was a real treat. i cant believe people actually act like that! in public! wearing a hospital gown!
So, as it was a Tuesday, mid morning, there was nothing on tv - i think i watched cnn, who knows. I remember the actual surgeon, Dr. Lau, came in to say hi, he drew a star on my left arm, and asked me why I had missed our appointment earlier that morning. I thought "are you serious!" and said "Um the lady on thephone told me to come directly here this morning and not to your office". he asks if I have any questions.. YES but I dont know where to start - so I started with "i've never had surgery before, what do I expect?" I knew to ask for anti-nausea drugs before I go under, and how long it would take (2 hours), and what to expect after that? He said "take your pain pills on time, every time." that's about all I remember.
Then after a few more doctors and various medical personnel came in and out - it was time... and I was wheeled into the surgical room. There was lots of machines and about 15 nurses and doctors - all talking amongst themselves. Another doctor (not the surgeon) announced "we need to do a dry run through, NOW people" - and yet everyone ignored him and kept doing their own thing, talking amongst themselves... I was awake thinking, hm - this is interesting. Someone offered "dr. Lau isnt going to be back for another 15 minutes" so the angry guy just scoffed and walked away. The anaesthetists said "here, we're giving you some oxygen now" and then almost immediately said "okay we gave you some drugs to relax you, you'll start to feel drowsy" and that was it.
Total darkness.....
a photo says 1000 words, like this one... taken saturday morning after my bike and I tangled with a giant fire hydrant...
