3 posts tagged “kaiser permanente”
Welcome back - I've been absent with the holiday, but am back to tell yet another installment of my navigational skills within the health care sector.
Tuesday, the 23rd, 3 days since I broke my olecranon/ulna, and I'm at the hospital. I'm ready to check in, arm wrapped, swollen, and movement seriously limited. After standing in the waiting room, awaiting the 'customer service professional' to acknowledge me and end her "woah is me" speech with her co-worker (neither of whom acknowledged the other person waiting in line with me, or me). I thought, "and it all starts now" as I rolled my eyes and sighed audibly. After filling out brief paperwork and waiting on them to call me again, the niiiice lady took my wallet and keys and locked them up for me. Filing of paperwork was done, and I was ready for the next step. I arrived at the next room, and met with a blank look, and a statement "you arent supposed to be here, we dont have you in our files" from the next uuber professional admin lady. I made sure to tell them I had strict instructions from the lady on the phone that i indeed was slated to be in your office, asking you to get me into surgery today. Finally another doctor arrives on the scene and says "treat her like a fast track patient". I dont know what that means but apparently I had my name on some fast track list OR it's secret code for "she slipped through the cracks" lets sneak her in. I secretly think it's the latter. The same lady took another look at me and said "you go here to check in" and proceeded to draw me a map, complete with color lines to follow on the floor (yes there really are colored lines on the floor). Suddenly a knight in shining armor and a white coat showed up miraculously and led me into the elevator, up another few floors, and into another room, where I awaited to be admitted, again. I received the same treatment as I had in the past two offices. I felt like I was navigating a nightmare in a video game - once I gathered enough stinkeye stares, I was admitted to the next stage...
Admittedly, it gets kinda fuzzy from this point on. I think I finally was admitted, told to 'wear this" hospital gown, and was in a hospital gurney. Various doctors came in and out, checking, double checking and triple checking my paperwork, what arm was to be operated on, what drugs i had in my system, had I peed, did I need to pee, and finally, did I want to watch some tv (there are personal monitors) to pass the time? What? and Miss the most dreadful droning of the 'victimized eye surgery patient in the next cubicle'? No joke people, this woman was clearly elderly, and complaining in the way your great-grandma complains that you're never up on time, only she's at your house at FOUR IN THE MORNING. This woman somehow had checked in at 6am for her 2pm surgery. And she was complaining that the doctors forgot her, that the nurses were willingly avoiding her, adamantly shouting at whomever would listen. It was a real treat. i cant believe people actually act like that! in public! wearing a hospital gown!
So, as it was a Tuesday, mid morning, there was nothing on tv - i think i watched cnn, who knows. I remember the actual surgeon, Dr. Lau, came in to say hi, he drew a star on my left arm, and asked me why I had missed our appointment earlier that morning. I thought "are you serious!" and said "Um the lady on thephone told me to come directly here this morning and not to your office". he asks if I have any questions.. YES but I dont know where to start - so I started with "i've never had surgery before, what do I expect?" I knew to ask for anti-nausea drugs before I go under, and how long it would take (2 hours), and what to expect after that? He said "take your pain pills on time, every time." that's about all I remember.
Then after a few more doctors and various medical personnel came in and out - it was time... and I was wheeled into the surgical room. There was lots of machines and about 15 nurses and doctors - all talking amongst themselves. Another doctor (not the surgeon) announced "we need to do a dry run through, NOW people" - and yet everyone ignored him and kept doing their own thing, talking amongst themselves... I was awake thinking, hm - this is interesting. Someone offered "dr. Lau isnt going to be back for another 15 minutes" so the angry guy just scoffed and walked away. The anaesthetists said "here, we're giving you some oxygen now" and then almost immediately said "okay we gave you some drugs to relax you, you'll start to feel drowsy" and that was it.
Total darkness.....
Continued from yesterday, where I growled at hospital personnel...
High on morphine and I took home a nice souvenir on my left arm – a fiberglass splint from wrist to armpit. It’s so cool these days – they have dehydrated fiberglass… well it’s a little more chemical than that, but seriously, “just add water” , fashion and mold to your liking, and *presto* you have your very own cast. Somewhere in there, Anthony ran to concessions and got us something to eat – it was like 2pm and we had breakfast so long ago! After the morphine, x-ray, cast ordeal, I was ready to go. I left with a piece of paper that said “thanks for visiting the ER today (or not), your next appointment is on Tuesday at 9am with Dr. Lau”… okay well it didn’t say the first part, but it did say that my appointment was on Tuesday at 9am. Well enough, I guess I can do this cast thing for 3 days.
Cast on, I shuffled to the door, and waited while Anthony retrieved the golden chariot and picked me up. I would’ve walked to get the car, but the Kaiser Hospital is on a steep hill and I was still chock full of morphine.
Once home, we cleaned up and kept our plans of attending Renee and Tif’s wedding. Unfortunately we didn’t make the ceremony, but we did make the reception. It was gorgeous, and all my teammates were there, and very nice to me and gracious and surprised that Anthony and I made it. Tif was gorgeous beyond words and Renee was dapper in her tux. I was greeted with many a hug and question upon question. We stayed through dinner and the speeches, and made our way home shortly after that, my hand throbbing with pressure.
Anthony and I amended our fun camping plans to stay low key and in the area, I was less and less mobile as the hours lapsed, and by Monday, (my actual birthday) I was reduced to sitting on the couch with my arm above my shoulder to ease and control the swelling. I was in fear of my hand popping off. Quite literally it would turn purple and throbbing cold as soon as I brought it below my heart.
When the phone rang on Monday afternoon, I half expected it was a nurse reminding me of my appointment for Tuesday at 9am. I was expecting to meet with Dr. Lau for pre-op surgery, talk about what was going to happen, and when. Upon answering the phone, the nurse on the other end was ‘reminding’ me of my surgery at 11am the next day. Wait a minute, I haven’t had my pre-op appointment I said, I cant go into surgery yet, I’m supposed to meet the doctor at 9 am tomorrow. The nurse on the other end said “I have a note here that you’re to go into surgery at 11am tomorrow, and nothing about another meeting at 9am.” I asked where I should go, and she replied with directions and said I’d meet the doctor there.
I was dropped off by my roommate at the hospital at 9am the next day, to check in and all that. It wasn’t long before I had a missed call from my doctor, and listening to the message, he said he was waiting for me at the original appointment (its in another building) and why wasn’t I there? *temper rising* I’m not there because the lady on the phone told me not to meet with you! *sigh* this is a heavy foreshadowing moment as well.
I’ll leave you here and pick it up with my attempt at registering myself for surgery on the morning of September 23rd.
continued from yesterday.... where I hit a fire hydrant and broke my elbow...
Anthony's car (aka The golden chariot) landed, picked me up and after I
struggled to get in the car, my level of discomfort was approaching new levels - a drastic foreshadowing event too. “Could you please try to avoid all the potholes” I
begged, ashen faced. Poor Anthony did as I asked. That request was soon
followed by a surly ashen faced sweaty bellow “just get there already!” I was
in so much pain. And as we waited through THREE traffic signals to turn onto
Geary toward the hospital, I seethed “let me out and I’ll just walk” which I
realized I actually couldn’t do. But I was in pain. Pain is a mean bugger. Pain MAKES me a mean bi-atch.
Inside the ER, nary a person in sight. I checked in with the
nurse answering her “what brings you in here” pleasantries with a terse “I was
riding my bike, fell off and broke my elbow”. No time for pleasantries here.
I’m in pain! I asked for some ice for my elbow, but was denied “Not until the
doctor evaluates you, now go sit over there until we call you” While I surveyed the EMPTY waiting room, I wondered (maybe aloud?) why am I waiting, there's nobody here!
Five minutes tick past. Nothing happened. I asked again for some ice, and was denied, but this time the doctor opened the admitting door and let me in. I wouldn’t let him palpitate my elbow screaming “no touch, no touch”. So I was admitted. And seen by another doctor, to whom I also said “no touch, no touch!”. This garnered me the pleasure of morphine. Ah, that wonderful drug. I no longer cared that my arm hurt and I had ruined my 30th birthday camping trip weekend. All was right with the world because I had morphine.
Going into x-ray was icky – I could see my elbow was really swollen in all the wrong places. The x-ray actually confirmed it. The olecrenon was broken right off the end of the ulna – fortunately just a simple fracture. Unfortunately, the triceps attach at that spot, and when I jerked my arm and flexed the triceps, it pulled the elbow point clear up my arm. No wonder I hurt so much!
“So your arm is broken and you’re going to need surgery” said the orthopedic resident. Damn.
And so begins the insanity of the HMO Kaiser Permanente system.
