part deux... l'hopital
continued from yesterday.... where I hit a fire hydrant and broke my elbow...
Anthony's car (aka The golden chariot) landed, picked me up and after I
struggled to get in the car, my level of discomfort was approaching new levels - a drastic foreshadowing event too. “Could you please try to avoid all the potholes” I
begged, ashen faced. Poor Anthony did as I asked. That request was soon
followed by a surly ashen faced sweaty bellow “just get there already!” I was
in so much pain. And as we waited through THREE traffic signals to turn onto
Geary toward the hospital, I seethed “let me out and I’ll just walk” which I
realized I actually couldn’t do. But I was in pain. Pain is a mean bugger. Pain MAKES me a mean bi-atch.
Inside the ER, nary a person in sight. I checked in with the
nurse answering her “what brings you in here” pleasantries with a terse “I was
riding my bike, fell off and broke my elbow”. No time for pleasantries here.
I’m in pain! I asked for some ice for my elbow, but was denied “Not until the
doctor evaluates you, now go sit over there until we call you” While I surveyed the EMPTY waiting room, I wondered (maybe aloud?) why am I waiting, there's nobody here!
Five minutes tick past. Nothing happened. I asked again for some ice, and was denied, but this time the doctor opened the admitting door and let me in. I wouldn’t let him palpitate my elbow screaming “no touch, no touch”. So I was admitted. And seen by another doctor, to whom I also said “no touch, no touch!”. This garnered me the pleasure of morphine. Ah, that wonderful drug. I no longer cared that my arm hurt and I had ruined my 30th birthday camping trip weekend. All was right with the world because I had morphine.
Going into x-ray was icky – I could see my elbow was really swollen in all the wrong places. The x-ray actually confirmed it. The olecrenon was broken right off the end of the ulna – fortunately just a simple fracture. Unfortunately, the triceps attach at that spot, and when I jerked my arm and flexed the triceps, it pulled the elbow point clear up my arm. No wonder I hurt so much!
“So your arm is broken and you’re going to need surgery” said the orthopedic resident. Damn.
And so begins the insanity of the HMO Kaiser Permanente system.
